Category Archives: Uncategorized

Quitting Vaping: A Journey of Self-Compassion

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A rabbi was asked by one of his students “Why did God create atheists?” After a long pause, the rabbi finally responded with a soft but sincere voice. “God created atheists” he said, “to teach us the most important lesson of them all – the lesson of true compassion. You see, when an atheist performs an act of charity, visits someone who is sick, helps someone in need, and cares for the world, he is not doing so because of some religious teaching. He does not believe that God commanded him to perform this act. In fact, he does not believe in God at all, so his actions are based on his sense of morality. Look at the kindness he bestows on others simply because he feels it to be right. When someone reaches out to you for help. You should never say ‘I’ll pray that God will help you.’ Instead, for that moment, you should become an atheist – imagine there is no God who could help, and say ‘I will help you’.”
— Martin Buber, “Tales of the Hasidim”
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Art Work: Saying Yes to a Larger Love

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No Clue, but Lots of Curiosity….

Ask a question here, then answer in the next paragraph

My 65th birthday was a day of discovery.  For one thing, I realized that 65 wasn’t nearly as old as I’d thought.

Well, yeah, there were the wrinkles.  And the gray hair.   And the realization that, after a lifetime of yoga and fitness training, stair rails were suddenly important.  When had I even begun to notice stair rails?

But the day offered new questions.  I’d been a wife.  A mother.  A friend.  A writer.  But mostly I’d been a therapist.
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Quarantine

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“It’s so hot!” “It’s so cold!” “Are you ready for Christmas?” “What are you doing this summer?”

Small talk. Dumb talk. Ordinary talk. (Of course it is hot!  It’s summer.  Of course it is cold! It’s winter.  No one is ever ready for Christmas–and if they are, we don’t want to hear about it.  And what am I doing this summer? Being hot and complaining about it!)

Yet I long for such small talk. The current conversational trends–“Are you staying safe?”
“Is your family okay” “Wearing a mask is a pain.” are well-meaning. But too often the question behind the question is “How are you staying sane?”

Insanity is the new normal. “If it bleeds, it leads,” goes the old saying about news reporting– and there is plenty of bleeding to lead. We’re bombarded with images ranging from the horrific to the utterly banal: Cruelty, hatred, stupidity, absurdity, exploitation, lies and distortions are everywhere. It’s overwhelming. It’s outrageous.

It’s predictable.

Many of us are still quarantined. We face endless days devoid of the structure that are sources of personal identity, or endless days and nights of care giving, housekeeping, worrying, and feeling inadequate.  Living with family 24/7 makes for tension and cabin fever.  And living alone gets–well, lonely.

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Holy Commerce

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Holy Commerce
Daphne Stevens, Ph.D.
©Copyright  All rights reserved.

I shopped like a madwoman last month.  Why is it easier to fit new clothes into a suitcase than to drag out the season’s old favorites and wear them again?  I was preparing for a business trip to Santa Fe.  First I hit some tried-and-true catalogues for basics—good fitting pants in several neutral colors, and a simple packable dress that could be accessorized easily. Then I hit the mall.
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